I have to tell you that I am underserving but God is so good and has blessed me so much in just the last month of my life. I am beginning a journey of thankfulness. I have become a person who is humbled at the very thought of my Lord Jesus Christ and with everyone I meet everyday. I have come to know a love that cannot be explained. I have come to terms with the fact that God can take whatever he wants from my life and I myself have to be obedient and trust in him on this journey. He takes my hand and he leads me, I just have to follow and trust in him.
I have met a group of amazing girls in the last 6 months of my life that I know are my true sisters. These girls are girls that I feel like I have known forever, and could talk to them like I would my own family. It so amazing to me that God has blessed me with such a diverse group of girls that come together and pour their hearts out to each other without hesitation. I am amazed at how God works; he never ceases to amaze me every SINGLE day. These girls are a blessing in my life! They make my life more complete and I am so thankful for every single one of them!
Lately, my mind has been on relationships. What are relationships? Why are we in such a hurry to be loved? Don't we already know the only true love? God has truly been tugging at my heart lately about this very fact of what a relationship actually is. God has truly opened my eyes to help me see what true love is by expressing his love towards me and blessing me beyond anything I've ever imagined. I've learned how to love by being in a relationship with God. I did not know the true meaning of love until the love of Jesus Christ entered my heart. It is the very thought of knowing true love by our Savior that helps us realize what love truly is and what relationships are supposed to be about.
The two words that come to mind when I think about being in a realtionship, would be expressed by three simple words.. my best friend. By having God at the center of the relationship and not holding anything back. It's about wanting the very best for that person, being the one that you can always talk to when you need it the most, and it's about being a companion. By being a companion, you are walking alongside that person encouraging them in everything they decide to do. It should not be forced, it shouldn't be thought of as a chore, and it shouldn't be something that you take for granted. "Love is patient, love is kind. IT does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. IT always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love NEVER fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 That's what love is.
I am beginning to realize that my time has not come yet. Until then, Brooke Fraser says "..and like I can't force the sun to rise or hasten summer's start,neither should I rush my way into your heart." So, I have come to realize that the reason that endings have happened in my life, is because they were never the beginning. I have learned to be patient, wait for the right time, and serve my Lord Jesus Christ with all the love I have to give. For now, I have slowed the pace of my life down, I have taken a step back, and I'm patiently waiting.
As for me and God, where do I even begin? I am in love with my Savior. I have never known a love so strong. Although I can not see him, my heart knows him well. God's grace and mercy has been so apparent in my life. I can't explain my heart's desire, but God's love fills me up. When I'm weak, he makes me strong; When I feel like I've had enough, God gives me strength and perseverance; When my faith has gone, God blesses me and brings me back to him; Praise be to God! My relationship with God is growing every single day. His glory is bigger than anything we have ever known. Let's not forget who God is on a daily basis; our God is a God who makes anything possible!
"I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." Psalm 9:1-2
"I was not born to be free. I was born to adore and to obey." __C.S. Lewis
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